Family Member Exploitation of the Elderly
24 August 2006It’s a common occurance, and the Christian Science Monitor has an article inspired by the famous Astor family case that’s been in the papers recently about how family members who are deadbeats have a tendency to “take care of” elderly family members who have some money - and end up skimming off some for themselves in the process.
Most cases of financial exploitation involve family members. “Usually it’s someone who is dependent on Mom and Dad,” says Chris Johnson, an attorney in Pasadena, Calif., who specializes in trusts and wills. “They need that big pot of money. They’re unemployable, or didn’t try to work, or have substance abuse problems. They end up isolating Mom and Dad. The other kids are not sure what’s going on. It’s easy to transfer the house to their name or take out mortgages on the house. They might use some of the money for Mom and Dad, but they use some for themselves, too.”
There’s been some talk recently about how many men are living with their parents until well into their thirties, and this may tend to aggravate the degree to which this goes on as time passes. The article has a story of someone who bilked his elderly parents out of $250,000 over time as he blew it on an Internet poker site.
So what do you do if you’re elderly and worried about this? Learning about financial matters is top priority for most people. It’s harder to get suckered if you’re educated - and it makes you less willing to give control of your money over to someone else. Also, remember that it can be a bad idea to trust even your kids with your money. If you’ve got a lot of money, talk to a lawyer or financial advisor before doing anything - they’ll be able to suggest options for you to fit any financial situation and if they’re disinterested, they’ll caution you if you’re doing something stupid.
Also, remember that no matter how much your kids guilt trip you, you don’t owe them anything. It’s your money. If your kids want money, they need to earn it - especially if you’re in your seventies and they’re in their forties. We’re talking about an adult here - and adults need to act like it and not sponge off of you.
What if you’ve got an elderly family member you think is being scammed? If it’s by an outsider ”friend,” check them out. Do an investigation of them. Don’t just trust their good intentions, even if grandma does. This isn’t a financial issue as much as an emotional one - if someone is scamming an elderly family member, they’re often doing it by giving them attention when the family member is lonely. So try to find someone you trust who lives nearby and is willing to step in and keep an eye on things. Find other ways to involve the family member in a community group of some kind, so that their social needs are met. If it’s someone in your family doing it, push for joint supervision of whatever is going on. And watch out with giving the “hard sell” on what an awful person the scam artist is - unless you’ve got proof, you may find your elderly family member to be defensive.
Discuss this on the Free the Drones Forums here.
No comments yet